I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
