Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
