i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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