some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
