So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
