Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
