Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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