every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
