my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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