I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
