I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
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