my sisters under your porch take her home
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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