I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
