You really coming over, don't trick.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize