my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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