its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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