So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
