Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize