I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
