I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
