if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
