with your own penis?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
