i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
