I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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