What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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