Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm getting married
To pizza
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
