How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
