oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
