I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
