just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
