yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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