i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
