She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
