What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
