It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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