btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
