I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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