I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
