whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
