he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
