Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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