i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
