Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
