Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
do herpes really smell.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize