My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
