All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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