and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize