Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
