i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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