Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
A+ Viking dick
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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