I want to stick my p in your. b.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
