thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
