Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
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