Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize