office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize