I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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