dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
