Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
