Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
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