my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
im six kinds of drunk right now
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize