This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
As shirtless as possible
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
