I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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