the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
